Category: FICTION

The Life Of A Lagos Wh0r3 (Episode 2)

The Life Of A Lagos Wh0r3 (Episode 2)

Despite the hazards associated with my job, ‘Whoring’ has been a rewarding venture, I must say. At 39, I can boast of a decent apartment today, plots of land, a car in fairly good operating condition and my whore-house is flourishing. My bills are paid when due… So when people say “ashewo no be work”, I laugh. Especially when I’m […]

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The Life Of A Lagos Wh0r3 (Episode 1)

The Life Of A Lagos Wh0r3 (Episode 1)

INTRO… The hate is so real. Before you judge me and tear me into shreds for towing this path in life, cos that’s what you all have been doing your entire lives – Judging Ashewos. Remember, You. Are. No. Better. Some of you do similar shit or worse and scream ‘hallelujah’ in church on Sundays. I know you don’t like […]

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BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL

BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL

It is very unfortunate that Ambassadorial nominee, Mrs. Vivian Okeke from Anambra state mixed up her lines when she was told to recite the National anthem and pledge by the chairman of the Senate Committee on Foreign Affairs. Who will blame her. Maybe she nursed that of Biafra when the question was put to her. For the record, Anambra is […]

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HOW TO SURVIVE IN NIGERIA (FOR GUYS)

HOW TO SURVIVE IN NIGERIA (FOR GUYS)

I have sacrificed a little time out of my very “busy” schedule to write seven quick tips on how youths in the low class can upgrade themselves like magic. Poof! This is a little “soh’um”(Like Frank Odega says it) that guys can relate to in order to survive in this rugged jungle called Nigeria. To think a side-chick (as Flora […]

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WOE-MAN

WOE-MAN

Man, all grace and glory Draped in velvet and jewellery Lay calm and cold as a cowry When she kissed him fury. God made woman and never rested. He was cool with man until He made woman to keep man company. This heavenly love later cracked and became a crevice that belged bitterness. Woe befell man soon after. God created […]

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A FLASH IN THE PAN

A FLASH IN THE PAN

This is the second time Retired General Ibrahim Babangida (IBB) has emerged from his hiding zone to refute rumours of his death. It is pertinent to ask why Nigerians are so eager to dispatch the man to the great beyond. Even though his alleged sins were numerous during his own regime in the military era, we ought to have forgiven […]

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Sweet Temptation 3

Sweet Temptation 3

I came out refreshed and changed into a black brief and a black BYC T-shirt. I switched on my 42 inches Samsung flatscreen television and the DSTV decoder. Both began booting and minutes later I relaxed on my sofa watching MTV Base. I was engrossed as I watched The Weekend dance to his rendition Earned it. A loud scream jarred […]

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Sweet Temptation 2

Sweet Temptation 2

“Madam, the end isn’t near… it is going to be well.” She laughed at my consoling words and opened her red handbag. She brought out a pack of Benson & Hedges. She tore the transparent wrap and brought out a stick which she stuck inbetween her lips. I envied the cigar. I wished my phallus was the cigar. I quickly […]

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Sweet Temptation 1

Sweet Temptation 1

Uru adiro n’isi azu. There is no benefit in the head of a fish. This saying/slogan is popular amongst house wives and market women in any Igbo speaking community. Yet, the head of a fish is never discarded. Never. It is sometimes, the harbinger of quarrels and fisticuffs. I wanted to tell stories like James Hadley Chase. Weave breathtaking and […]

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Sex and Sheets (18+)

Sex and Sheets (18+)

As I peeped through the door’s key hole to see Ebuka sliding his dick into Mama Tinu’s pussy in a missionary sex position, I had a flashback of how they met. Mama Tinu is a young married lady in her mid-twenties. She got married to Chief Adewale, a rich merchant, dealing on textiles and shoes. Chief Adewale is a successful […]

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