I WENT THROUGH IN MY MARRIAGE

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Som, please hide my identity, at first I didn’t want to share my story but this could be a lesson to most single ladies & most men out there and . I met my kid’s Dad in 2011 through my childhood best friend that was my first semester 2nd year l I was 21yrs then. He was looking for a God fearing girl to date and I was careful with men when it comes to sex. So she match made us. He was every thing a girl could want in a man, God fearing, caring & discipline etc. Although he was serving then in Lagos but distance was never a problem, because we always communicate. Gradually I fell in love with him to extend that I invited him to my sister’s wedding. Now this is where the agony of my life struck : when he made advances for my body, I offered him whole heatedly because I loved him and I thought he did as well. The irony of this whole thing was that we have only known for 4 months and I took in on first touch. When I found out that I was pregnant I called to tell him and he offered me 20k to do abortion. I rejected his money and told him that abortion is against my belief, that I always pray for girls that induced in such act and for the souls of those innocent kids. That am already suffering from breaking my promise to God of keeping my virginity(maybe God was already punishing me by allowing me to take in) those was my thought then. He told me that since I refused to terminate the pregnancy that he’s going to deny me that am on my own besides he just came out of school and just serving there’s no how he’s going to own up about the pregnancy or his family will no longer support him in securing a job because he’s the last child. I didn’t know what to do the whole world was closing up on me, I know the kind of family I came from and the kind of father and brothers that I have been the last child as well they would never accept me and the pregnancy. I tried to end all this twice but I kept on vomiting out the poison that I took. Then and there I decided that God doesn’t want me to die. I summon up courage and ran to a priest in school then. When I narrated my story he agreed to accompany me to go see my people. On reaching there the out come was not funny at all. My people disowned me and said the never want to see me or the child in my womb in fact my elder brother wanted to kidnap me to go and abort the child but my elder sister informed me on time because she was the first person that I confided in when I found out that I was pregnant and so I want to my course mate”s house and hide. The priest had no choice than to find a motherless babies home for me to stay and put to birth, because my family doesn’t want me to be seen in school with pregnancy as well. Exams was fast approaching and I promised myself that I’ll write it before leaving for the orphanage home. I had to put on so many tights just to hide my stomach in order to write the exam. Sometimes I feel for my unborn child. After the exams I left for the orphanage( Holy Family Sisters of the Needy Ukwurata In Owerri) that was where I stayed to put to birth. I left school for almost four months exams was first approaching I thought of defiling my admission but then God did wonders and proved the impossible. My baby who was not even suppose to be come until February 21st according to scan came out January 23rd Eight months and two weeks. Exactly two weeks to my exam. When I was in labor no one believed me because I was not even due until my water broke. God of miracle did it for me. And on that very day I put to bed my child performed miracle. From the orphanage I rushed back to school to write my exams thanks to my mum who later forgave me and came to stay with me while I write my exams.
To cut the whole story short. When his people heard that I have put to birth and that it was a boy they came to apologize and ask for my hand in marriage. I agreed to marry him because I loved him so much beside I didn’t want to deny my son his father. We did our trad only for me to find out that his people forced him to marry me because his elder brother 13yrs of marriage no issue and the other one is a priest who can’t get married and he happened to me the only person left. Well began to frustrate my life believing me for everything, that he’s not ready to be a father. That I purposely take in for and want to tie down,that he had a girl he wanted to marry but she left because of me. There’s nothing I do that pleases him. He was also womanising. I thought I could save my marriage by offering him my body as he likes even when am not enjoying the sex. That was when I took in for my second baby and I was still breastfeeding. A lot of people might blame me here but I did that to save my marriage. If going outside to have sex is he’s problem then he should do that with me. When I took in he told me to abort the child again because he just got a job in an oil company and that he applied as a single engineer. That no one knows he’s married besides he will not always be around to take care of me and the kids
Those were his excuses , but I refused. I told him if I could bear the shame of my first child and didn’t abort him why now that I am married to him. That was how our problem started. He hated me so much that I thought some day he will grow to love me and my child but I was very wrong. We had a little miss understanding about farming. Which honestly that was the only domestic work I don’t know how to do because I wasn’t brought up in the village. Although I begged him to give me time to learn that one thing lead to another and he asked me to leave with my pregnancy and my son that he’s tired of the marriage. This was all happening barely five months of our traditional marriage all in 2013. I hardly enjoyed my marriage or feel loved by a husband. It’s all well. I put to birth and it was a baby boy again. He never asked after us or even cared except for the fact when my baby was two weeks old that he managed to visit us. He refused paying my school fees and house rent, talk more of taking care of his kids. As God may have it am a graduate of mass communication. Just one I was about to go for my service the two family had a meeting there we agreed to work on our marriage. He made me to enter courtship with him even after having two kids for him. I was posted in the North so I wanted to redeploy by all means because of my kids and my marriage. So I meant the Bishop of Niger state Bishop Ozoukwu. I narrated my story to him and he offered me a job that I can bring my kids along to stay in his house and that if I can’t cope with them and my job that my mom can come as well, while my sister cook for my dad since she and her husband stays in the same state with my dad. That he preferred to monitor this our courtship himself and it’s better with the distance. My prayers of so many yrs was answered. God perfected his way in my life. My kids were giving free education and I was offered a job with free house and free food.
But I turned everything down and begged him to redeploy that I want to be closer to him “my kids dad” in order to work on my marriage. I was redeployed to Enugu only for me to come back and he started frustrating my life again. I got tired and told him that am tired of everything. Because the obvious truth is that he doesn’t love me and it’s high time I live with that. Then on Feb 13th of this year he called me for peace only for us to have a fatal accident, the car was damaged beyond repair but God saved us both. So I thought it was God telling us that we belong together despite the fact that I don’t want the marriage again. I agreed to follow him to marriage counseling. But that never happened. Because when I left he had already gotten wanted he wanted(me saying that am tired of the marriage) in fact he recorded everything as an evidence to use against me. To his people. Forgetting that I agreed to go with him to go see a counselor after that incident. Well such is life. My eyes were opened when I call him to verify the date we were going to see the counselor only for him to tell me that he’s married although before then he started frustrating me again and refuses to pay for my kids school fees and their feeding telling me that I should give him my first son, that he can take him to the sister in Lagos for proper education abi upbringing in fact I was not even seeing any sense in what he was saying, cause I told him if you want your son to attend good school then give me the money I know so many good schools around here just that I can’t afford the fee. Now he’s married just February here that we had a fatal accident and April he was already married. Even the wife warned me to leave her husband alone and I ended up crying for my follow woman. Any God has a reason for everything.Now something happened after he got married his dad and his elder brother called me to offer me money saying that they will take up the responsibility of my kids since their Father don’t care and that none of them is happy with him, in fact they didn’t support his marriage to the other lady. This is the people who abandoned me all this yrs and never cared about my kids and I. I almost accepted their offer but when I presented the case to my family they told me not to accept because this will be a means of coming to claim the children. That they don’t mind paying millions to my account just to cover up for the past. That their money is not been offered genuinely. The truth is that I know of Human Rights Organizations and welfare as well. But I don’t want any case with them and my family doesn’t want any problem as well. All we want is peace. My kids are bearing his name and know where they come from. Yeah it’s painful that after suffering now on my own with them they will eventually go back to their Father’s house because they are boys you can never deny a man his root . That am suppose to accept help from them and they can come and lay claims on my kids. Yeah I believe my kids will go back to their Father’s house but not at this tender age if they must live. Besides I don’t even know the kind of woman he’s been married to. My children will leave but that will be when they must have come of age. It’s not going to be easy on me but I rather suffer with my beloved kids than to leave them in the hands of another lady. All am asking for is for a kind hearted and God fearing Christian, who can offer me a Job. I have been able to sustain myself and my kids with my NYSC allowance which will be ending by November 4th once I Pass out. Life has not been easy on us(myself &kids) but I give glory to God. Please help me my first baby is very brilliant and I don’t want him to stop schooling. God Bless you as have mercy on the two innocent souls and offer their mom a job. Thank you.
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