My two pence about the ongoing Igbo men issue.see shun political correctness what I am about to say may not go down well with a lot of you but you know me now I am going to say what I want to say regardless. Let me first of all share an experience, I went to Lagos Island with a male friend and we went to buy clothes from a guy who owns a female shop, so I had to test a lot of clothes and showed them and they were oohing and ahhhhing of course the body is lit??. When we were about to leave, the owner of the shop said in Igbo that when the guy was through with me, he should pass me on to him. My friend who was not Igbo asked me to translate and I did and he went bonkers, it took the grace of God for him not to beat him up, in fact he was the one who told me that day in all honesty that if I want to go places, I should not marry an Igbo man.

Now the market place groping is a usual thing for me, men are always groping me in market, I have had one break my very expensive bracelet because he is dragging me to buy what I did not want, one has slapped me before because he hit my ass and I  called him an idiot, I quickly gave him the slap back and he grabbed my phone and stepped on it, I posted the issue here, i jejely left came back with mopols and arrested all of them there who thought he was lord. What am I even saying, the market people are on their own, what of the ones on facebook, was it not an Igbo man who started the rumour that I was an international runs girl who go abroad to sleep with big men, another Igbo man also added the prominent politician angle to it upgrading my runs status to presidential level. Yet another Igbo man sat down and tried to pull me down by suggesting I may not only have slept with his driver and gate man for 5k but I had also begged him to love me by sending him nudes he pulled from naijauncut. Every time a man calls me a prostitute , he is always Igbo, guess what they all have in common none of them know me but enjoyed trying to make me a prostitute and belittle my effort to mere shagging for money.  Oh I forgot another common interest they are all shouting ” Je suis Biafra”.

We may want to pretend it is not true but it is, I have lived in the north for 6 years, come in contact with men from other tribes and nobody has disrespected me, not that I know what they do when I am not there but I am talking about me. This is not to say there are no good Igbo men, there are millions of them, well trained and behaving well . I know a lot and I am even in a relationship with one and will probably marry an Igbo man at the end of this my singleness but the truth is that there are Igbo men who objectify women, who make you into a sexual objects and it needs to stop. When issues like this come up, it is an opportunity to go defensive yeah but also learn, unlearn and relearn. Why would any human being be averse to learning?? We may pretend all we want but there is need for reorientation and raising better men , we have sons and brothers.

Why can’t we teach them to be better!!!!Imagine what we could do if we learn to better people, do not boil it down to traditions and we are Africans we do things in a certain way, no we are humans and we ought to be dynamic and revolving. Sometimes when  I talk about how to treat people it is because I believe we should always be better. If your brother or son cannot disrespect you, he cannot disrespect some random woman.. Whether you want to believe it or not, a society is judged developed and enlightened with the way they treat their women, let us start treating our women better and teaching our sons to be better. It is not going to cost us anything. Afterall said and done, marrying a good Igbo man is still legit goals in some quarters and I consider it an achievement but for that to happen we need to learn,relearn and unlearn. I am still Igbo and will always be Igbo but I also want to be proud and say in five years time that ” Igbo men are very well behaved and  treat women well. Daalukwanu.

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Amanda Chisom

Chief Executive Officer at TorchBlaze Media Consults. "People say I say a lot of inappropriate things. I just think I am radically honest. Follow me for your gist and news and radical opinions on issues"

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